Sex toys have been taboo amongst Christians since they were first created. I think part of the reasoning behind this is because almost every store that sells sex toys also shows nudity, sells pornography, and promotes ideas that don’t align with Christian values.
Vibrators are also regarded as solo masturbation devices by many in the Christian community. I agree that vibrators and other marital aids can be used in ways that cheapen sex. Still, I argue that they can also be used as healthy means to add intimacy and playfulness to your marriage bed and help to strengthen your marriage.
Think about this. Almost all Christians accept personal lubricants as an acceptable addition to lovemaking. But what if that personal lubricant is used to masturbate while thinking about someone else? Is the lube or the act bad? The same can be said about vibrators and marital aids. Using them with your spouse during foreplay and intercourse to enhance lovemaking can be a great thing. Sex toys are neither good nor bad; it’s what you do with them that matters.
When are sex toys okay in a Christian marriage?
- When they are used to add intimacy and playfulness to sex.
- When they adhere to Christian religious boundaries.
- When both you and your spouse are comfortable using them together in your marriage bed.
- Your marriage should be rock solid. Sex toys don’t fix marriage problems.
Let’s take these one by one.
Adds Intimacy and Playfulness
Vibrators can go a long way to aid in adding intimacy to your sexual activities. Here are a few examples of using sex toys to add intimacy and playfulness without cheapening sex.
- Get in the mood: For many women getting in the mood doesn’t come easy, and they need a little push to get things moving. Use a vibrator during foreplay to rev up her sexual engine and help her get ready for intercourse.
- Orgasming: Many women struggle to orgasm. Use a vibrator during foreplay or intercourse to help stimulate her to orgasm.
- Orgasm together: Let’s face it, most men can’t last long enough to give their wives an orgasm during intercourse, let alone orgasm together at the same time. Another obstacle of simultaneous orgasms is the distance between her clitoris and vagina, but that’s a topic for another time. Use a vibrator to bring her almost to orgasm and then quickly switch to intercourse and hopefully orgasm together.
Adheres Within Christian Religious Boundaries
Each person should be completely willing to use the sex toy. It’s as simple as that. Only do what both spouses are comfortable with doing.
Sex toys don’t fix marriage problems. If you’re not getting much action in your marriage bed, introducing a sex toy into your marriage bed will probably cause more problems. There’s a reason sex isn’t happening very often. Find out what’s causing the lack of sex and fix that before trying sex toys.
Physical stimulation from touch or sex toys is only one of several aspects to having great sex. Sheila Gregoire’s “The Orgasm Course” explains in great detail the other aspects of what makes sex great along with techniques to help her orgasm. We HIGHLY RECOMMEND taking this course with your spouse so you can truly make the best love you can make!
It’s a Moral Decision Between You and Your Spouse
The whole purpose of this website is to remove the temptations of sex toys and behaviors that do not adhere to Christian religious boundaries. We don’t sell porn or toys with packaging that features nudity, and we don’t publish content that is not Christian-friendly. That doesn’t mean that every toy sold on this website is OK for anyone to use or use any way they like.
The bottom line is that you and your spouse need to agree on what sex toys are morally acceptable in your marriage and where the lines are drawn regarding how they are used.
Need more information about adding marital aids to your marriage bed? Below are links to posts about sex toys in the marriage bed by a few well-respected Christian marriage bloggers.
- Danielle at Thrive Ministries “Should Christians Use Sex Toys“
- Jay Dee at Uncovering Intimacy* “Are sex toys allowed in a Christian marriage?“
- Chris at Forgiven Wife* “3 Ways a Vibrator Can Help Marital Intimacy“.
- Ruth Buezis at Awaken Love “Good Vibrations?“
- Julie Sibert at Intimacy In Marriage has a great post, “Batteries Included: Sex Toy Use?“.
- Keelie at I Am The Sex Talk Lady* “Sex Toys – Yay or Nay?“
* These marriage bloggers are affiliated with us, but we in no way influence their writings.