Most couples struggle with communicating about sex. We’re not taught how to talk about it, and so the expectation seems to be that we’ll just suddenly be inspired and given the full breadth of sexual expression while somehow also avoiding pitfalls. Of course, the reality is not quite as smooth for most of us.
Sex is scary to talk about, but even when you know how to communicate well about it, that doesn’t mean you know what you would like to try. Searching the internet for sexual activities is, frankly, scary and dangerous for many.
As a result, I’ve come up with a massive 25-page resource to help you through this.
It starts with a 4-page introduction explaining how to talk about sex, how to go through the lists, how to respond rather than react, and how to create a plan for moving forward. After that comes nine pages of sexual activities that I’ve carefully considered and believe to be within the biblical guidelines for married sexuality. You may frankly have differing opinions, and that’s okay. Just because it’s on the list, doesn’t mean you need to try them.
I’ve also included four pages of words you may wish to use during sex. Often we don’t talk about what our preferences are for body part names, pet names, and others. In our surveys, one thing that has come out is that many husbands and wives wish that the other was more vocal in the bedroom. However, that can be hard when you don’t know what your spouse’s reaction will be to certain words. This section will help alleviate those fears.
Lastly, there’s a section on feelings. What do you want to feel during sex? What do you feel that isn’t comfortable? Do you ever think about it? Have you ever talked about it? I’m betting you haven’t because most don’t. These are the conversations that lead to true intimacy, that will grow your sex lives more than just spicing it up with new activities.
In short, this resources is a cheat-sheet for all the things you should be discussing and either never thought to, never had a framework to do so, or simply didn’t know what the options were.